just saying,

Saw this somewhere ;

You don't know me at all. What  you "know" is only what I choose to show you, so quit judging me on what you see- there's more to whatever is the real me. {♥#tumblr}

<3

so much for thai express. haha

Hey guys^^ It seems like since the holidays are here, people are not in the mood to blog, actually i don't too but I've managed to get myself to blogspot to bloggggg! Yay hehe. Oh btw, had real good dinner at Thai Express. It was epic really. Cos our food took forever to come, like 45- 50 minutes and people who had arrived later had already been served, my parents kinda fed back to the manager, this really gay looking guy who made it all sooooo funny! He was sooo apologetic, and stuff he even gave us 4 free drinks, each cost at least $3.90 ++ it was soooo epic :) Seriously, we kept laughing whenever he walked away cos he was sooo gay. Hhahaha

Sadly, we didn't watch a movie cos everyone was too tired ): Well i'm watching Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow, before celebrating my mum's birthday. Gosh sad I gotta miss CCA picnic at Botanical Gardens. Never mind, its for my mum i guess.

Hoping to have a good time tomorow!

<3

hehe

whee going out nowww! hopefully watching a movie too <3 (':!

<3

sense of accomplishment

HELL YEAH I'VE FINISHED MY METHODOLOGY. Freakingproud of myself considering the fact that i was so damn tired/ pissed/ bored today.

1. spent 2.5 hours in Bugis NLB reading BH and ST. Can you believe it? Malay and EL newspapers for 2.5 hours? thats nuts. It was driving me crazy because even my mum had fell asleep while reading. o.o And guess what or rather, but guess what? I act. found it quite interesting. Like I was reading similar articles in both EL and Malay. Like the articles were published both in EL and malay and i read both! Cool hurhurrrr (x

2. Had horrible lunch. i know this is a disgrace because im in a CmPS, which solves community problems and starvation is probably one, but I really couldn't help it. And nobody's perfect! So yeah, it was supposed to be chicken rice, but the uncle was sooo disgusting, he poured this weird gravy all over my rice and i couldn't eat anymore. The chicken looked funny too. Thank god my mum didn't make me finish my food, but instead bought a caterpillar bun to wash down the episode of awfulness.

All in all, 2 takeaways from this strange day:

Reading newspapers is actually good and ihatetosaythis but quite fun.Hehehe!
I must appreciate house food more because some outside food suck like mad; hahaha

tata!

Today I don't feel like doing anythingggg

Did you ever feel that some friends (?!?!) only cling on to you when they need help or smething. The feeling of being used sucks more than 3 PE blocks back to back. I'm not sure if she realised but its sad if just didn't :( Maybe its just jealousy taking overrrrrr/ Gahhhhhh;o

Damn I have a methodology for Sip to do ): Not really looking forward to tomorrow, okay fine a bit lah. I'm feeling the inferiority complex feeling that just sucksssss. why why why.

Don't feel like talking the shit I wanted to.

kthnxbaiiii!

x.x

yes i rmbed

Hehehe i remembered to continue talking about understanding life in my previous post. I realised that recently, I have been pissed for no reason. Like for example, I'll get this bugging feeling which really pisses me off but wait, what pisses me off way way way more is that I would be trying to recall something that happened that day that could have possibly resulted in me being pissed. its strange when you try to find things to fit the situation/

its like reading your horoscope at the end of the day; after the day's events and you read that paragraph of what your fate was, you'll find something that day to match the situation. But if you read it in the morning before the day really started, you'll prob be like "Uhhh what? this is weird" Its quite cool actually, these kind of things, its all the works of our minds.

CmPS really needs work and lots of work on it. Keep finding out more and more things that we can improve on, its quite overwhelming, especially since we're not really doing anything at this point of time, really hope we get started and bark up! ;O

I always wonder why things happens the way they do. Okay i know this sounds lame but srsly I just can't understand how some things work. Its hard to explain, but really its like the how can that be possible feeling. :# haaaaaate it. okay wait hate is too strong, dislike it/

Keep thinking about how Subject Combi would affect my future. Writers edit: I've typed and deleted the following sentence many times so here's the thing I don't really know how to say it: I don't want to say what exactly I want to do when i grow up here, since my blog isn't privatised, and I don't want to sound like I can totally achieve that cos its hard, rest asseured.

Thinking of asking seniors how they're coping with History/ Bio then decide finally! Trying to be more serious about this bcos it actually is very important.-

Class partayyy was okay lah haha! <3 Will be Missing mrs K like crap next term. GAHHH don't even wanna talk about it. ): Some teachers piss me off like mad. Can you not talk like that or post that kind of stuff, how do you think the rest feel? it pisses me off like shit yknow so please stop the hell your crappy shit and gtfooml.

Whatever seriously,-

Gah how is it possible that i was sounding happy at first and now my anger has taken over? You see this is what i'm talking about? random turbulent waves of different feelings all the timeeeeeeeeee )';

god help me please
<3

Everyday i'm shuffling---- not.

Hahahaha that song is just so damn popular right now, more of addictive actually. There's really no talent when it comes to analysing their singing ability (not that I've got any :O) But really its just some really high pitched noises throughout the song.

Today was a 6/10 I would say. Okay okay lah. Hahaha. It was good that we had a free block, Mr Vanan didn't come, but it really pissed me off that he probably would rush us like mad tomorrow to teach us how to write an essay. Wts lah seiously, my time management sucks like mad! ):

Discovered that R& J is actually very interestingly cute, not in the Azaleah way. Hahhaah i just find certain parts very funny x) Speaking of Lit, damn damn damn Mrs K is leaving soon. Gosh nooooo, I really don't want her to go, even though she constantly picks on me and stuff. She's really funny and I need that kind of teacher to entertain me throuhgout the lesson. What if this old haggish teacher takes over? Help help help :O

Had subject combi talk today. I thought about for a while and realised how important this decision is. It affects my future. And for someone who wants to be a spy when she grows up, I was really confused if it was the right thing for me to do and whether I would be deeply and greatly be affected by this decision. I am still weighing the pros and cons of the 2 combis I have in mind. Either CBP+G or CP+GH. Okay I know the second is strange but I kinda prefer history to bio so yeah, still thinking though. Will be talking to seniors soon to ask how they're finding Bio/ history. Bio is easier to score apparently butbutbut History is more interesting:'O How? Hahhahaa ask around lah.

Went for Fun with Bread IHGGGGG It was super fun. Hhahaha many many secrets huh Nicole (; but seriously it was suprisingly funnnnnnnnnn! ;D

Man I'm starting to realise there isn't an answer to everything in life. I don't like it that way. Will be talking more in my next post if I rmb toooo k?

goodnight
<3

to my dearest friend(:

it sucks, everytime I want to forgive and forget, i see the response i get and I feel sick. I think we're behaving very childishly.
I reflected on my actions so far and I realised that all this is so dumb.
I'm sorry for all the shit I've done and please forgive me.
Amen.
ffaea remember? (:

<3

i'll turn the other cheek;

ohmaigod is this some pissing off game shit? Too many things running through my mind right now. I write things on my blog, to let out my feelings. Not for other people to read, I don't write something because I know you'll read it/ I don't write something for you to read. Whatever I write/ insert in my posts are for my reference. There's no need for your constant reference to my texts and other things in my posts.

You know what, i'll turn the other cheek. I don't want to lose friendships/ don't want any of this shit

I'm going to reflect on what happened.

Goodbye

Rational

Miscommunications and misunderstandings, yes I agree they happen all the time. Forgive me if I have "mistaken what you say when you actually mean something else". Yes at time, actually a lot of times, I immediately transpose what people say into something negative, I'm sorry I need to work on that.

Yes I agree, I was in the wrong for not telling you straight in the face about how i felt about it. It is not very nice of me to piece your heart with words, which may have/ probably did sound harsh [though I was really trying not to make it sound all harsh ): ]

I won't blame you for doubting our friendship cos I probably would do the same, if i were you. But I think you've kinda missed the point. I was mostly upset with why you even told me what you said, rather than what you said. I think i didn't really make it clear in my previous post that i didn't understand your rational. If you didn't realise immediately after you told me, you just gave me this piss of look and stood up from your chair and left. Tbh, it was you who was so pissed off w me. I still tried to initiate conversations w you after and you did respond, thus i felt there was no need to make matters worse by trying to bring up unpleasant memories. The reason why I go "Hi ______" is because I treasure our friendship. I wouldn't say hi if you weren't my friend/ good friend. Okay I know this sounds mean, but sometimes, I don't bother saying Hi to some people! :O

But after agreeing with everything you've said, I disagree with one thing you said. No where did i ever say that you were to be blamed for everything. I may have implied it (through harsh words) but I really didn't mean it that way. I don't believe its either your or my fault. Its really not very mature. I have chosen to see it this way. In friendships, it is these small misunderstandings that form the small stones in our hearts but here's the thing, at least we can address this issue and we've definitely understood each other better.

Once again I apologise for sounding harsh (though I had editted my post like a million times not to make it sound harsh) :O Words do pierce people's hearts </3 When i read your post, i felt hurt first but then i realised you probably felt the same after reading mine so i apologise for whatever i've done on my part and my harsh words (well not really but i guess it was harsh)

Please forgive me and let's put this behind us and move on.


Its okay you don't have to delete it. When we're old ladies and look back at our blogs it is these kind of things that will amuse us greatly. Hahaha

Think before you speak. TYVM

Sooo, about the day before yesterday. I am going to handle this issue very professionally because I know there are people reading my blog. Okay, so I got back some marks. Tbh, I felt it was good and satisfying. But the thing was that it was 0.3 marks away from a 4.0/ I wasn't very sure if it was going to be rounded up so I was fretting over it like super worriedly. I admit, that to a very small extent I could have been unconsciously rubbing it in that I wouldn't get a 4.0/ Then someone came up to me and said I was being unfair and insensitive for being that way. Please let me know how I was being unfair. A person's marks is a reflection of the effort put in by that person. So how is it possible that it is unfair that I am fretting over whether I'll get my 4.0 when it affects my overall GPA, when it actually matters. Wouldn't you do the same? In fact you did  but I just didn't tell you at that moment. If I had worked my ass off to get the results and it is a centimetre away from my goal, how can it even be unfair for me to be worried I don't get the 4.0 I deserve. I remember you said that: It is really unfair to those who are even hoping to pass. I know who you're talking about, who wants to pass but honestly, why are you so deeply affected by somebody else's marks when maybe they just didn't put in enough effort to see the desirable fruit of labour. So there, did you even think before you spoke? Or are you just taking it out on me that maybe you were upset with yourself or something? Think back and reflect really.

in·sen·si·tive

   [in-sen-si-tiv]  Show IPA

–adjective

1.

deficient in human sensibility, acuteness of feeling, or consideration; unfeeling; callous: an insensitive person.

2.

not physically sensitive: insensitive skin.

3.

not affected by physical or chemical agencies or influences:insensitive to light.

Anyway back to happy stuff. Gosh happy with myself, though it was kinda so close yet so far for a couple of subjectssss. But yeah I'm happy(':  My house looks so pretty today, cos of my sister's confirmation. Ahhhh wish it was like this everyday! (: 

Oh no I think I'll be really bored later. Gosh I'll be all aloneeeeeeeeeee. Help)':

<3

wowowowowow

yay really tired to talk about today, will talk tomorrow, heheh, but the gist is: i'm really happy(':

some shit happened too but whatever, heck!

<3

crazyawesome

omgomgomg still can't get over my physics marks. I am so effing proud of myself like seriously, i can't believe it:O It made my day go up to like 8/10! Wheeee amen. Thank you god for giving me the brains to start revising 1 week before the paper instead of the day before and giving me the strength to study it even though the teachers kinda pissed the shit outta me.

RS was okay, but we really need to get things sorted out. We're gonna be the best sec2 CmPS Team, i just know it! Heheheh kidding. Anyway we need to narrow down our research and clear things up. Lots of things to do and can't wait to get started! (:::::

Csp was boring as usual, no surprise. Hahaha what can i expect of a chinese class, oc its gonna be boring. gosh gosh gosh, i just realised i forgot to do some rencana shit which is due tomorrow, k will do it during recess. Here's the shocking thing about today: After csp, i ran 5 rounds round the track, for fun. I don't know i just felt like running, and it felt goood! (: I feel so proud of myself, i am not thaaaaaat unfit; still can make it. hahahah

Feeling slightly tired after finding lots and lots of random history ws cos there's file check tomorrow. Hahaha did anyone remember?

Everyone's asleep except me): im charging my ipod for tomorrow, yay can't wait there's dance exam >:O and partayyyyy! <3 hahhahaha

wheee I'm glad about today, one of the best wenesdays of the year, seriously, i've talked about my moodswings on wed before and guess what? it only lasted to recess it went away immediately after!

Lots of reflecting to do for cmps, i want to do it right and well.

goodnight everyone, while i go file my file.

<3

shopping well not really. heh

Today was sooo fun<3 We walked around  ION Orchard for like forever. So soooo many cute thingss we wanted to buy, but ahh we didn't. No money liao. Hahahah. It was really fun, honest. Then I went to Louise's house again, went there before, we discussed design and made 2 cards hahaha we lost track of time as usual. (: Heheh actually we met to prepare for open house but... hahaha

goshgoshgosh when i grow old and become rich, i'll buy all the stuff i want. oh no i sound like some materialistic, spoilt brat, but honestly argh some stuff were really cute and pretty and asdfghjkl :O Expensiveeeeeeee.

damn there's school tml. Psht kk gonna file up my stuff.

sorry for such a short post, i actually have stuff to say but its all over the place and i have no energy/ time to organise my thoughts right now so ciao!

<3

mondaymondayyyy;

 Gah sometimes I just get so pissed off w people. I hate to say it but, the whole damn world is fake. Why why why? And what makes it worse is I myself who is complaining about this, is also fake. There are so many things I want to change about myself but I can't. I want to stop saying "hate" unnecessarily. Do I really hate or is it just me being impulsive w words. Hate is a strong word. And I use it way too much, it really could hurt people :'( Like today, I was talking to Yi Jing and it just came out. I don't know why but I just said "I hate you". But honestly, from the deepest of all deepest of my heart I didn't mean it. Not at all.

Super duper super puper excited for Thursday! Soo many things happening.  I think we're getting back Geog SA:O Then we have dance exam which I honestly can't even vaguely remember how to do, and then, wait for it.. There's a partay for post SYF celebrationsssss! Yay we're all meeting in the kitchen for lunch(': Finally get to celebrate(::::::::

I read some of my friend's blogs and guess what? Most people are feeling slightly emo in one way or another so here's something to cheer you up(:! Its dedicated mostly to Yijing who sounds super emo and its also an apology sort of hehe/

                                  I bet you're like this now, worrying bout your problems )':
                                

                                              But guess what? :O You should just.....

 Okay I'm kidding this is so not what I meant. Heh. Gosh how lame could I gettt. Don't answer that:O


                                          What I really meant is you should be like this (::::::::

                                        

We're all super heroes. (Y) Remember: your purpose in life is to find a life of purpose. Heck all these people who try to ruin our lives.

<3

friday the 13th

Haven't really posted in a while but I was sleeping for the past few days, like literally so yeah. Hehe; Anyway I wanted to talk about something that pretty much annoys me. I don't really like it when people go all crazy over superficial stuff like getting all depressed when celebrities don't reply to your posts on their walls etcetcetc. Its so dumb, give them a life puhleaseeee. Its not like they are so free to reply to all the lovely messages. They have other better things to do man. These cases are even more extreme than those fangirling people. I mean its really alright to fangirl but hating yourself, getting all depressed, talking about suicide when your idol doesn't respond to your posts is just over the top, sigh so frustrating. 

Friday was an eventful day definitely, it was Friday the 13th :O I swear in the morning, my left eye was twitcing like crap, and that's not a good sign. Tbh, I'm not really the superstitious kind, but it was a sign. Then right in the morning, i ran 2.4 and it went well i guess! :D Luckily I managed to change and rush back to the hall for assembly in time. Many of the other classmates were stuck at the back of the hall, so sad. Hahha.

Esther gave me the Respect badge. Sigh i'm so touched what more can I say, She's amazing, honestly. I can't believe people actually observe my actions and means a lot that some people actually do. I love esther so asdfghjkl muchly. She's like my half sister she soooooo nice and sincere <3, If only everyone was like her. 

Anyway, gonna leave for cathecism class at 11 plus. Till then I better find something to do. It really has been boring these days. Still thinking about who to pass on the badge too. I want to give it to someone whom I really look up to, not just give it cos she's my good friend etcc.

Oh man im hungry.

kk bye gonna have breakfastttt. 

;

i have a life again!

GUESS WHAT? NO MORE EXAMS TILL NEXT TERM. ahahahha today was just damn sexxxxxxxx (sorry really couldn't help it :O). i didn't do anythinggg. Hehehehe! And guess what? Physics wasn't too bad, though I got a number of questions wrong already )': but i think i could fairly answer the rest of the questions (: hopefully it turns out well! goddd please help meeee.

I just realised something. I don't really understand why but sometimes, I think I analyse people too much. Like when I first look at someone, I'll look super long cos I think I'm inspecting (?!?!?!) the person too much. Then it comes off as me staring rudely at the person, which is bad. It happens all the time yknow its super asdfghjkl scary:O I'm trying to look less at people? Hope people don't think I'm staring, its just like my thoughts wander away when i glance at something too long, and then i start looking more intently at the person, cos i'm either trying to remember something or i'm recalling something. I really need to work on this. It looks rude.

And then another thing, I need to control my facial expressions. Its getting me into a hell load of trouble. Like I have been attacked (?!?!?!) by soo many teachers because of my supposedly interesting expression. Cikgu, Mr Vanan and Mrs Kumaran keep calling me to answer questions etcetc. Its super unfair and annoying. Its not my fault my face reacts violently to what people say>:O okay fine it is. but its so hard to control my facial expression when its natural. like controlling something natural is hardddddd. >:(.

Sigh will think about something to do to get over these mini problemsssss. Goodnight im tiredddd.
<3

-.-

hey you stop reading my blog.

thank you very much.

you know who you are. hehe

kk

asdfghjkl mixed feelingssss yo.

Hey I haven't posted in the longest time cos, I was lazy! Hehehe Wheee so many thigns happened over these days but I'll only talk about some. Too busy. I find it really strange that I get really pissed on Wednesdays after recess, like it happens every week, its super scary x( I won't even know why I'm pissed/ who i'm pissed at.

I totally experienced it today after school. it was so annoying trying to think of other thinks to distract myself. Like I keep asking myself why I even got agreed etcetcetcetccc. I don't even want to elaborate. But but but somehow, I guess I felt better towards the end of the day. I just watched the Party's speech thing on channel 5. Honestly, I'm quite interested in the whole election thing. (:  I don't think it is very fair for one party to talk bad about the other party (PAP) in their given time. Instead, they should only talk good and only good of their own party. Its only fair right? SDP and WP talked bad about PAP. Not that I'm supporting PAP or anything. Hehehe. Its quite fun to watch them speak from their own perspective. Sadly, Choa Chu Kang grc is sooooo uncool ): hahah okay lah kidding.

Huge relief when I realised I actually didn't fail lit aa, I had calculated wrongly by like 9 marks, which was super scary. Through the whole Malay, I was so moody )': but then i found out so i was feeling better (': though the feeling of actually thinking that I had failed was still on me. but it when offffffff. so yay

Today was quite productive. Came home, bathed, ate, went for piano, came back at 6.20 plus, ate dinner, studied and revised a bit. I feel that I really need to do welllllll for physics. Its super important to meee. ! ):

i'm gonna change my bg soon. getting real bored of this one. kk
<3

tomorrowwwwww

Gasp damn it there napfa 5 items tomorrow)': so not looking forward to it, but sigh better to get it over and done with yeah? haha. yay tomorrow's subjects are mostly (Y) not too bad. It was quite an okay weekend actually, had cousins over yesterday where we all studied together, no kidding, but it was okayyyy. Today was quite productive I would say, completed Glogster thing, Math Ws, Physics hw and Geog stuff. Proud of myself sort of, though I really could have done more. Sigh the thought of tomorrow's 5 items is scaring me.

I'm just going to shove the thought aside until tomorrow when I actually need to do it. Hehehehe my stomach's feeling funny cos I ate a waffle with butter in it, It was seriously super oily. ); ); ); Can't wait for tomorrow to end. end end end end end. hehehehe.  I really need to do well in Physics this time, Its a freaking core subject! I want my gpa to be not as bad as last year so I really need to score in physics. Hope that works out.

I think I'm gonna sleep now. Trying to think of other things other than PFT test. Sigh why can't I just skip tomorrow.

God please help with tomorrow
Thanks! <3